Heidi 4, Marvin 2, Carl 10

Heidi is put to rest today.

As this is being written, Heidi is being carried by fishing vessel, out to sea off Westport in Washington State. She will be at rest, and in peace. Here are a few words written by my younger brother Berthold Brecht "Bert"

What a beautiful ocean. Blue, vibrant and unrestricted at the surface. Underneath is a whole different world. A world more full of life than the one we know so well. Endless life, mysterious beauty and with more adventures than could ever be explored. This is where the seed of life on earth began and here shall be the place where a most treasured life will come to rest. What a perfect place for your adventures, love and inspiration to continue when just a short time ago you were with us. Of course you will never be gone. You are a part of us and there are so many wonderful experiences that we shared together. You will be thought of every day and our love for you will continue to grow. We will visit you when we are at the shore and touch you when we place our hand on the water.
You have done so much for so many. You mean so much to us all. We love you!
Bert Brecht

guest book obituary posting/more on past postings

March 18, 2010
May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.
~ Sheri Schultz, Seattle, Washington

March 17, 2010
I'm sorry I did not know Heidi beyond our childhood days. I am thankful and very moved to learn more of her life and deeply saddened to learn of her death. I wish to offer my heartfelt condolences to her family.
~ Erin "Petterson"Donovan, Enterprise, Oregon

Heidi's children, Madeline, Evan, Dan

Mr. Dan Haddad - "Heidi's oldest son" Director. Mr. Haddad is currently going into his 3rd year as the Band Director at Cheyenne High School. He is originally from Seattle, WA and recieved his B.A. / B.M. from the University of Washington in Percussion Performance and Music Education and his M.A. from Florida Atlantic University. While at the UW Mr. Haddad was a member of the marching band, wind ensemble and percussion ensemble in addition to playing with the Seattle Blue Thunder Drumline. While in Florida, he was a graduate assistant in charge of the drumline for the Fighting Owls Marching Band in addition to being a conducting associate for the wind ensemble and symphonic band. He also helped start and directed the FAU Percussion Ensemble

Heidi and Madeline

FAMILY COUNSELING

The Johnson family is a family of two adults and two children, a girl of 14 and a boy of 10. The family’s mother “Ann” called to make an appointment. She said that life in the family had become hellish. For the last two years, her daughter was always angry at everyone in the family, yelling, calling names, rough toward her brother and very out of control towards her parents. Her son was doing poorly in school and frequently complained of stomach aches, for which no medical cause could be found. The couple was angry at each other a lot, often blaming each other for the problems of the children.

The family arrived at their scheduled appointment with me, and aside from the teenage daughter, “ Maggie”, all appeared eager to work. Maggie had a closed, angry demeanor. It did not look as though she wanted to be there, but I commended the whole family for showing up together. This would be an important first step in the family working together to improve their lives.

During the course of therapy, it quickly became apparent that Maggie’s moods were regulating the family. Teenagers often exhibit changed, moody and more demanding behavior during adolescence due to their hormonal changes and the ensuing natural desire for more independence. The rest of the family felt helpless in dealing with her anger and consequently gave into her demands in an effort to make her happy and to try to keep the peace. Maggie would be happy while she was receiving what she wanted, but then resorted to her lashing out behavior again. The last straw for the parents was when they were feeling as though they could not be responsible parents anymore while their daughter was engaging in behavior that was unhealthy and dangerous. They felt very guilty about the toll the constant upheaval was having on their son’s health and well being.

Each family member had the opportunity to voice their feelings about their experience in the family. Each member had valid complaints and concerns. Over time, the following things happened:

Maggie received a medical examination from a doctor who is knowledgeable about adolescent health. She was encouraged to follow a healthy diet, a key to regulating moods. She got involved in athletics, which helped channel her energy, strengthened her body, boosted her self-esteem and gave her something to look forward to on a regular basis.


The parents developed some new parenting skills. They began to set firm boundaries. They became more certain in themselves about what they would and would not allow their daughter to do. They formed a firm and loving united front so that their children would feel secure in knowing that both parent’s supported each other’s decisions and family rules.



They created a family plan based on the concept that freedom and privileges come with responsibility. When the children fulfilled their self and family responsibilities, i.e. completed homework and chores, have had enough rest and proper nutrition, they had the freedom to choose activities they wanted to do.



Family Time was implemented. Family Time is very important as this is where all members of the family derive a sense of belonging and feeling bonded. I encouraged the entire family to share at least one meal a day and at least one mutually fun activity a week and to spend some quality time each day talking to the children about their day.



Couple’s Time was also implemented. Couple’s Time includes a weekly date night. Couple’s who are busy with their children often don’t leave time to nurture their relationship. A weekly date night gives the couple the opportunity to spend time alone together, to focus on each other and their relationship. Showing each other that you care is not only good self-care and couple-care, it models healthy relationships, one where the children are not the center of the universe, but all members of the family are important. The couple also did some couple’s counseling with the goal of strengthening their relationship for the good of the whole family.



With time, the son began feeling better. His stomach pain subsided and he became more successful in school. For a while after the weekly counseling sessions were no longer necessary, the family did monthly check-in sessions and eventually yearly check-in sessions. All were much happier with themselves and each other.

COUPLES COUNSELING

Couple A came into counseling because the were “fighting all the time”, angry with one another over a list of seemingly minor matters, such as one of them never shutting the closet door and the other one forgetting to buy an item at the grocery store that the other wanted. They were rarely intimate. One typically initiated intimacy, the other was rarely in the mood. This created a lot of anger and guilt within both of them. They finally decided to go to counseling because they were talking more and more about splitting up. They both thought that it might be easier to get out their perpetually angry relationship and start over with someone new but they were miserable about the fact that they would hurt their children if they split up the family. They needed help to figure out where they’d gone wrong with each other and why they were so unhappy.

During their counseling sessions each member of the couple had a chance to voice their feelings about their marriage and partner. The safe haven of a therapeutic setting gives people a place to voice feelings they may never have verbalized. It was clear that each member of the couple was not having their needs met, which resulted in anger and disappointment and seemed to snowball into a chronic state of unhappiness. By getting to the essence of each individual’s grievances, each individual had a chance to be heard. By practicing active listening skills, each was listening as well as being heard. The couple learned to compromise more often and learned to agree to disagree on some issues. They gradually moved away from blaming each other, toward feeling empathy for the other’s point of view.

INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOTHERAPY

Individual psychotherapy sessions are tailored to each individual’s needs and goals. Although the course of therapy is different for everyone depending on the issues they are dealing with, many people share a common need to gain insight into their problem and find the best way to make a change in their lives that will help them reach their goals. Most people want to enhance their lives and find that reaching a balance between the emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of life, brings them the satisfaction and joy they are seeking.

Frequently, individuals seek a way to improve their relationships to family members, friends or a partner. Learning effective communication is a vital step in having harmonious relationships.

Taking care of oneself is a primary goal for optimal well-being. During your therapy sessions, you will be guided toward continued personal growth, stress management and examining the role that “old wounds” might be playing, that keep you stuck in pain.

Individual psychotherapy offers an opportunity to be heard by an unbiased, compassionate therapist, a place for emotional release and a place to feel relief.

Specializing in:

Relationship and Life Enhancement
Stress, Anxiety and Depression Reduction
Communication
Life Transitions
Pre-marital
Strengthening Families


.We all need extra help at some time in our lives to deal with the challenges of being human and being in relationships.

.I enthusiastically support the examination of all aspects of individual’s lives, with the goal of achieving emotional, physical and spiritual harmony.

.Pain, sadness, frustration, anger and helplessness are often some of the feelings that bring people to therapy.

.I provide a safe, compassionate environment, tailored to your unique needs, to facilitate your learning and healing process.



In private practice in Seattle and worked in Mental Health Clinics since 1994.

BA in Sociology from the University of Washington and an MA in Counseling
Psychology from Antioch University.

Obituary

March 16, 2010
To all you who were a close part of Heidi's life, especially my family, I hope you'll find comfort in your many memories of her. I look forward to spending time with you soon and hearing your favorite stories of Heidi. A beautiful flower, too quickly gone, will continue to bloom in our hearts. Much Love
~ Rosemary, Anchorage, Alaska

March 15, 2010
I've not seen Heidi since high school, but would like to express my condolences to her family.
~
Joe Costello,
San Marcos, California

March 15, 2010
Heidi had a beautiful spirit and has left us all too soon. Her greatest joy in her life was her family. She will be lovingly remembered.
~
Kim Namba,
Seattle, Washington

March 15, 2010
I knew Heidi growing up.
She was always very kind,
sweet and wise beyond her years.
I am in that 1965 photograph along with my sister Cheyne and the three Thompson girls Patrice, Karla and Michelle (hidden behind Heidi). I know because I have my own photo of that day. We certainly had fun as children in that wonderful hilltop neighborhood.
I am so sorry I did not keep in touch with Heidi.
I did see her once or twice as an adult.
I would have like to have known her again.
I am so very very sorry.
~
Shawn Peterson,
Seattle, Washington

March 14, 2010
Heidi was a lovely lady. Our heartfelt condolences to the family.
~
Susan Esperson,
Seattle, Washington

March 14, 2010
In memory of two school friends. Heidi, May 18 1959 to March 9 2010 and Becky Mehrer, March 10 1959 to February 7 2010 (standing to the right of Heidi, front row in the center) Both died of cancer at the age of 50,and both will always be remembered.
~
Carl Brecht,
Seattle, Washington

March 14, 2010
So sorry to hear of Heidi's death. I knew her as her teacher at the Buddhist Center. My sympathies to her family.
~
Karen,
Seattle

I am so sorry to hear of Heidi's passing. So very sad. Becky, too. They both were exceptional people. I know Heidi has to have been an amazing mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend. I am sorry I did not know her as an adult. She frequented The Allegro for awhile and I did have the pleasure of eating in her restaurant on Greenlake Way NE once. I saw her picture a year ago or so in The PCC newsletter. I looked her up on- line. Her office is near my sweeties in Lake City. I wanted to call her up but didn't. I wish I had. Thank you for posting that photograph. I have one of my own I think my mother took that day in 1965 with her Hawk-eye Brownie camera. I remember that day only vaguely now. You were trying to get Marvin to hold still for the photograph and he just wanted to run and be free with all the excitement of a party. My thoughts are with you.
Shawn Peterson